so
I didn't have bipolar
I had ptsd
from childhood violence
from trauma care in hospital
and im dealing with it
and I had a disastrous relationship and the next thing
I have no relationship
2weeks later
I find out im pregnant
the big man of them that rule
advised me
to not continue with it
but I always knew it wasn't bipolar at heart
seems I was right
life is complex
I wreck a lot of good stuff
but my boy
hes wonderful
I feel blessed everyday
people come
some stay
the rest I kind of outrun
ignore
as im know im free
kind of
no enforced meds
that was brutal
I went for help
and lost 10 years to it
then Alfie
and these days
I try to anticipate
it nearly was all too much
until I found I was pregnant
and they see my son
and they see how awesome he is
and its the big fuck you to the system
how I love this boy
ive lost weight
lost the bloating
but I have to be careful
they fried me on cortisol
the fear hormone
and its in my body fat
when I loose weight
it floods my system
and me all sensitive to it
tends to be shit being a love sickfool
makes me go a lil stressed
hey ho
as long as my son is awesome
ill just try and be the best I can be
143 son
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