8 Days into PTSD Treatment

Well.............day 8 of acknowledgment of ICU induced PTSD. Firstly my sleep is starting to come back to normal which makes everything better, emotions easier to process, life more comfortable all around. My appointment yesterday went well, for a change! Instead of locking horns with the psychiatrist we talked about real issues not the mis-dignosis battle. Im tollerating and responding well to 25mg amiltryptaline, only using the 5mg diazepam (valium) for anxiety peaks and the 3.75mg zopiclone (sleeping pill) has done its job. Due to the chemically addictive nature of zopiclone we decided to pull it from the treatment plan and use only for emergencies and replace it with another dose of amiltryptaline. When we spoke of the valium, i pulled out the pack id been supplied with and showed her that i had 4/7 left. I think somewhere on my notes someone (maybe my mother) has told them im a drug seeker so they are very very unwilling to give me any controlled drugs. I could be wrong about that and it could be just the NHS trusts protocols to prevent addiction to prescribed drugs. Its just something my mother said to me in the torrent of abuse i recived via a random phone call last week.

So now my meds for ptsd are as follows:
2x 25mg amiltrypatline
5 x 5mg diazepam for high stress moments such as going to the hospital for my oxlair jab or going to any medical trigger appointment.
5 x 3.75mg zopiclone for emergency sleep retreval.

I have another appointment for next tuesday to continue my response evaluation to meds.

Ive been put in a different class/group of mental illness now. Bi-polar is seen as a group 2 mental illness. A severe mental illness group, with bed fellows such as schizophrenia and now with the ptsd im classed as a group 1 patient which alters the way im allowed to access the NHS help available. Ive been put in group 1 supposidly to speed up my access to cognitive behavioural therapy as the meds only deal with the symptoms. Mask the aniety but its the therapy which will help me find coping mechanisms for the actual causes. This change of grouping though affect my status for a social worker so ive had to change angle and use my asthma to get referal for help with housing and benefit applications. Whatever it takes huh!

Now the first night without zopiclone and exchaged it for amiltryptaline, well i went to sleep at 10.30pm and woke at 1am wide awake. BUT no bad dreams and i was disciplined to stay in bed and soon i went back to sleep. Zopiclone is highly addictive as is the valium where as the amiltryptaline isnt so im happy with the results. Cos some of these mental meds are just poison and the less i have to take the better.

So another day, well rested, chest kinda ok, anxiety pretty low and im just enjoying feeling a little more normal. Im so relieved, there have been times where i thought i was indeed pathologicaly mad, doubted every feeeling , every action. So its baby steps, baby actoion, confidence slowly being rebuilt. Its early doors for me, but im so glad i never gave up and i thank the god of my understanding for giving me the stregnth and tenacity to just keep on researching and askng pertanant questions.